I have a new job, writing about
conspiracy theories…..or do I? Maybe it’s
actually that I have been selected to do it by The Illuminati, that well known
international group of world-domineers, who want to get me off the scene in
case I ask too many awkward questions. Perhaps
the job was put up only on my version of the Freelance website- must be pretty
easy to do with known IP addresses – so that I pick it up and not look too
closely at the fact that the World is owned by The Illuminati……! Perhaps I’m just paranoid.
In doing the job I obviously got to do
a bit of research since I don’t know it all, despite what people may tell you,
and do have to look stuff up sometimes. Unfortunately, in a mental version of Pandora’s
Box, I now cannot forget what I have seen, and it is indelibly burnt into my
previously rational brain. I now firmly
believe that there are frozen Nazis hibernating in a secret base in Antarctica
– a base actually owned by a race of humanoid lizards, no less – and that the
American HAARP system is controlling our weather and enslaving us with plenty
rainfall and hurricanes. Furthermore, I
am now convinced that the 2004 Tsunami was caused by a subterranean nuclear
bomb test carried out by India, and that the Pearl Harbour attack was actually
orchestrated by the US Government to ease America’s involvement in the Second
World War.
I have to say that none of the above
actually sounds that convincing, though I was rather taken by the notion that
the British Royal Family – who we all know are related to some kind of lizard
monster thingy, possibly the same ones tending to frozen Third Reichers in Antarctica
– murdered Princess Dianna in Paris to prevent renowned Muslim Dodi Fayad from
marrying her and getting close to the core of the British Establishment. It somehow just sounds credible…in fact, my
science-trained brain can take it a step further and I can imagine Prince
Philip himself actually at the wheel of the white Fiat Panda that apparently
bounced a ton and a half of Mercedes Benz off the road and into a support
structure in the Parisian Pont D'Alma
tunnel. And then drove off unscathed. It
just makes sense and I even have a photo of it.
Of course the very nature of conspiracy theories is to
make you paranoid and like a dose of Ebola – which was supposedly manufactured
by the CIA as a means of population control – sweeping through a West African
township; once they gain hold in your brain, it doesn’t take long for infection
to be total. A recent study has found the
proposition that belief in conspiracies is usually the result of some deep
rooted psychological malfunction within a person ignores the clear fact that
over 50% of the American population believes in the Roswell conspiracy, and up
to 20% in moon landing conspiracy. These are simply too big percentages to
consider it to be a disorder.
Furthermore, there is no real cognitive
difference between the belief that the U.S. government faked moon landing –
which is apparently false - and that the government faked evidence of WMD in
Iraq – which is apparently true.
Conspiracies reflect a rather
deep distrust in information coming from the worlds governments and scientists,
based on known examples of false information, such as WMD’s, and how these
bodies of apparent authority failed to respond to it. And that doesn’t make me
paranoid.
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